Editorial Tip of the Week: Getting Descriptive with Commas

We all love description; this makes adjectives key tools in our stories. Thanks to adjectives, your hero or heroine can be short, funny, tall, old, and quirky. Not even Dan Brown (you may have heard of him?) shies away from adjectives in his prequel Angels and Demons: "Although not overly handsome in a classical sense, the forty-year-old Langdon had what his female colleagues referred to as an 'erudite' appeal - wisp of gray in his thick brown hair, probing eyes, an arrestingly deep voice, and the strong, carefree smile of a collegiate athlete."

How else could we understand that Langden often displays a carefree smile not unlike that of Jeremiah Masoli after leading the University of Oregon Ducks in a crushing defeat of Cal? I digress.

You may be curious why Mr. 5 Million uses commas after certain adjectives and not others, even when there are two or more before the noun. Never fear, the Big Orange is always ready to enlighten.

Direct your own "probing eyes" this way and read aloud in your "arrestingly deep voice," if so inclined. Chicago states, "When a noun is preceded by two or more adjectives that could, without affecting the meaning, be joined by and, the adjectives are normally separated by commas. But if the noun and the adjective immediately preceding it are conceived as a unit, such as 'little girl,' 'political science,' or 'glass ceiling,' no comma should be used."


What do you think?
Carefree?
Strong?
More adjectives necessary? Can you rise to the comma challenge?












Dan Brown example taken from this article; let's just leave my humble opinion out of the debate for now.

Spotlighted Literary Events

Sept. 30: At 7 PM Ruth Reichl introduces new cookbook Gourmet Today at the Nines in Portland, Or. Cash bar! Admission/copy: $40.

Sept. 30: David Byrne, author of Bicycle Diaries, and panel to discuss Portland's bike culture at 7 PM in Bagdad Theater. Admission/copy: $26.

Oct. 1: The Vancouver International Writers Festival presents Margaret Atwood, singers, and actors performing The Year of the Flood.

October's Literary Symposium and Luncheon!

October's Literary Symposium and Luncheon!

This October, the PCA will bring together a group of esteemed Pacific Northwest authors and chefs for the literary symposium and luncheon, Eat My Words:Literary Food Writing That's Good Enough to Eat.

The event will showcase talented voices in the genres of food fiction and food memoir at the luxurious Gracie's Restaurant in the Hotel deLuxe. The morning eventwill feature eminent food writers reading from their works and sharing the ingredients for writing and publishing mouth-watering prose. Speakers include Molly Wizenberg, the international food blogging sensation whose "Orangette" blog landed her a book contract, and Diana Abu-Jaber, the renowned novelist and memoirist who draws inspiration (and delicious recipes) from her Arab-American upbringing.

The full roster of featured authors is:

• Molly Wizenberg, author of A Homemade Life: Stories and Recipes from My Kitchen Table
• Matthew Amster-Burton, author of Hungry Monkey: A Food-Loving Father's Quest to Raise an Adventurous Eater
• Diana Abu-Jaber, author of Crescent and The Language of Baklava
• Shauna James Ahren, author of Gluten Free Girl: How I Found the Food That Loves Me Back...And How You Can Too
• Jennie Shortridge, author of Eating Heaven and Love and Biology at the Center of the Universe
• Erica Bauermeister, author of The School of Essential Ingredients
  

Following the program, a group of rising star chefs from Portland restaurants will serve a luncheon in the elegant lobby with dishes inspired by the work of each featured author. Guest chefs for the post-symposium luncheon include:

• Chef Mark Hosak, of Gracie’s Restaurant
• Chef Benjamin Bettinger, of Beaker and Flask
• Chef Gregory Denton, of MetroVino Restaurant
• Chef Jeremy Frice, of Departure Restaurant
  
• Chef Lee Posey of Nel Centro

After lunch, there will be time for book sales and signings. The ticket price also includes morning coffee and pastries provided by chefs Adam and Jackie Sappington of Country Cat Dinner House & Bar.

The Details

When: Saturday October 3, 2009, 8:30am-2pm

Where: Gracie's at the Hotel deLuxe. Directions to the hotel are available www.hoteldeluxe.com. Parking is available in the hotel’s self-park lot for free with validation or by valet for $8.

Cost: $50 for PCA members; $65 for guests. You can pay by using PayPal on our Events Page at www.pdxca.org or by mailing a check to Ashley Gartland at 6219 NE Carillion Dr., Unit 202, Hillsboro, OR 97124. Payment will reserve your spot.

Limit: 80 adults

Deadline: The deadline to RSVP is Friday September 25.

Questions? Contact Ashley Gartland at ashleymgartland@gmail.com.

Photo Story Prompt: A sunny day nap

Write whatever comes to you--short or long, fiction or truth.


We'd love to see what you come up with! Post your story in a comment below, or e-mail it to photostory@indigoediting.com.

Feel free to comment on each other's stories and just generally enjoy the process of playing with the written word and the world it creates.

Happy writing!

Photo: "A sunny day nap" by Kymberly Vohsen

Ramona Walks at Hollywood Library

I moved to Portland right out of college, and I like to think that many things drew me here: coffee, bicycles, politics, and, of course, Beverly Cleary. When I learned my favorite childhood author based many of the Ramona books on Portland neighborhoods, I was even more in love with this city.

Seven plus years later and I am still in love, and now there's an event to prove that I am not alone: Ramona Walks at the Hollywood Library. Led by Portland Hill Walks author Laura Foster, the walks begin at Hollywood Library and explore the Northeast neighborhoods that inspired Cleary to write her best-selling and well-loved children's books. On the tour, "see the supermarket where mud claimed Ramona's boot, the park where Henry hunts for night crawlers, and the Portland school that inspired Glenwood School. Plus lots more, including a stroll along the streets where Ms. Cleary, Ramona and her friends lived."

While the first Ramona Walk has already taken place, there are still three more scheduled walks on the calendar, so don't miss out! While I have not yet participated in the walk, I heard from an insider source that the first walk was an incredible event, and in spite of an hour of showers, about forty people and a basset hound turned out in high spirits. And not only did Foster talk about Beverly Cleary, but she also incorporated some other little-known Portland history into the event, the kind of information that has made her books so popular. I also recommend picking up Beverly Cleary's memoir, A Girl from Yamhill, to give yourself the full experience!

For more information, visit http://www.multcolib.org/events/ramona.html

Foster is the author of Portland Hill Walks, Portland City Walks and the editor of Metro's Walk There!